“Sometimes the only thing you could do for people was to be there.”
via Good Reads
Sometimes my kids, Anna and Toby, have to face stuff that I’m powerless to stop. I always end up flailing around trying to come up with an answer or a solution (flailing figuratively, of course. It would be really weird if I actually started flailing around every time Toby came home from a bad day at school).
Lately, I’ve found that just giving a long hug — in other words, just being there — is the best I can do.
Today, while I was putting together the kids’ after school snack, my son, Jack, laid this on me:
Jack: You know, daddy, we’re the same.
Me: We’re the same?
Jack: Yeah. We both want to be funny, but we’re both not that good at it.
Me: Oh. That’s how we’re the same?
Jack: Yeah. Also, we both have all our teeth. Except I still have some that haven’t grown back in yet, so I don’t have all mine.
Me: So, we’re the same because we’re both not funny and because both of us except for you have all our teeth?
Me: Here’s your snack.
Now I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Which, apparently, has been a problem for me for longer than I was aware.
“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
— Henry Winkler (The Fonz!)
Just for kicks, let’s say you and your partner are two different people. Even better, let’s say you’re two different people with two different personalities, childhoods, ideas, horrific unresolved emotional issues, and, in certain situations, even two different goals.
Now let’s imagine that one day, out of the clear blue sky, those things all combine into a perfect storm of disagreement. Well, if you’re going to do something, you ought to do it right. Right?
In the interests of being the best arguers ever, my wife and I have given an inordinate amount of thought to the best way to argue with one another. Here’s what we’ve learned in a few handy bullet points: Continue reading The Best Way to Argue: A How to Guide for Couples
“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”
― Fred Rogers
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.”
— Martin Luther King, Jr.