I was crossing Atlantic Ave. today and saw something weird. There’s a very squashed robot in the crosswalk. But I don’t know why. I have several theories.
- It could be a robot protest. I mean, MIT is just down the road. Maybe this is the beginning of the uprising foretold by Hollywood prophecy? It’s a guerilla plea for unity against human oppressors? “This is how they would trample us when we don’t fight back!”
- Maybe the robots aren’t so violent as all that. Perhaps it’s just a memorial for all the robots who broke down during construction of Boston’s infrastructure. Or even just one robot whose CPU was destroyed in a tragic car accident. Robots have never been known for their ability to elicit strong emotions. Just because I would find this underwhelming as a memorial to my own life doesn’t mean a fine, upstanding Boston robot wouldn’t see it and announce in an unnatural monotone that this two-dimensional representation of a squashed robot is a fitting way to initialize a line of code that was strongly associated with the robot or robots portrayed.
- I’m really hoping, however, that the squashed robot is actually a failed alien invasion. In this scenario, the robot is an actual squashed robot that fell from the mothership to conquer earth. The millions of alien soldiers inside it were quite surprised at the enormous magnitude of Earth’s creatures. When the “giant” alien battle robot issued forebodingly from the mothership to demand our immediate subjugation, it was quickly smashed flat by a passing car.
Perhaps you know more about the squashed robot? If so, feel free to share in the comments. But, seriously, I’m really hoping it was an alien invasion.